We’ve all seen her: The perfectly sweet and easy going girl, the adorable friend everyone loves until that engagement ring goes on- then wham! She becomes a three-headed, fire-breathing monster.
No matter how long you have known her, you can’t help but think: Where did this evil creature come from?
I’ve learned from experience that with the exception of a few entitled divas here and there -sorry girls, you know I still love you- no one is really born a bridezilla. Yet ANY newly engaged gal is at risk of becoming one. But why?
All it takes is a simple combination of stress and miscommunication, add a tiny dash of delusion and you are officially a bridezilla.
Read on for tips to help you avoid becoming a dreaded bridezilla, and if feel yourself already turning green try not to lose hope…there’s still time to save yourself!
BRIDEZILLA MAKER #1– BUDGET
I’ve actually seen couples fight so much over this one until the engagement is inevitably called off.
The best thing to do is to sit down and realistically discuss how much you are both willing to spend on the wedding. Who is paying for what? Are the parents pitching in? Is there room to go above the set amount if necessary?
Often brides make the serious mistake of assuming that just because it will be “her day” the groom will automatically be ok with overspending on a lavish wedding. Do yourself a favor and don’t be one of those girls. Keep in mind: that behavior sends your future husband the message that you don’t really care about his opinion thus unleashing endless arguments.
Instead, I recommend you both discuss a realistic amount to spend on the wedding as a whole. Then divide it into venue, attire, flowers, rings etc. Do this before you even think about booking vendors or shopping- it will prevent you from falling in love with something you can’t have and be miserable later!- Make sure to leave a little wiggle room for unexpected fees.
For example: Did you know that wedding dresses run 2 sizes too small and there are extra fees for buying a size larger than a 12? In other words, if you wear a size 10 in regular clothing, you’ll probably end up fitting in a size 14 bridal dress thus having to pay an up-charge. I kid you not.
So save yourself unnecessary stress by warning your partner right from the start, some extra fees are just inevitable.
BRIDEZILLA MAKER #2- LACK OF COMMUNICATION
Ah yes, you are engaged and you think that your fiance will automatically become a super helper, right? I can probably count on one hand how many times I’ve actually seen that.
The truth is that unless you clearly map who’s going to help with what, you’ll probably end up feeling overworked, overwhelmed and angry.
The best thing to do is to talk about ways you can help each other in the process. If you are one of those brides that will rather have the groom not be involved in the planning at all, then give him a list of other ways he can be supportive. Perhaps he can run some errands like picking up the bridesmaids dresses, or maybe even taking care of dinner sometime.
This will actually hep you both exercise communicating effectively while under stressful situations and working as a team- Win- Win!
BRIDEZILLA MAKER #3- UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
Believing in the fantasy that your wedding day will be perfectly flawless brings brides a tremendous amount of stress when confronted with reality.
I’m always baffled by how many grown women actually think that everyone will behave like robots for the entire year it takes to plan a wedding.
The truth is: Someone in your bridal party is bound to disappoint you at some point, a vendor or two will mess up and your ring bearer will probably have a meltdown before walking down the isle. Accept it now and move on.
I recommend making a list of a few “perfect must haves”. Draft an alternative plan in case of an emergency and let go worrying about the rest.
For example: If looking flawless throughout the entire wedding is a “perfect must have” then you might want to hire a dresser who is able to take care of unexpected stains, so when your drunk friend hugs you spilling red wine all over your dress, you won’t have a meltdown.
BRIDEZILLA MAKER #4- VENDOR MISCOMMUNICATION
This is one isn’t always easy to avoid. Unfortunately, you will be dealing with lots of different people and people make mistakes.
The best way to minimize misunderstandings is to clearly discuss your expectations with each vendor. Have a meeting to clarify what you need and be sure to take notes. Afterward, write a follow-up e-mail listing all the things discussed and send it to your vendor. This way, if something was misunderstood, it can be corrected before it’s too late.
BRIDEZILLA MAKER #5- TAKING ON MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE
Many brides don’t realize the amount of work that goes into planning a wedding. It isn’t always easy to put an event of that magnitude together while juggling a career, a relationship and everything else in between.
My advice is to be realistic about your limitations and know when to hire help. Somethings are better left for the pros. Saving money by doing crafts on your own may seem like a good idea but realistically, if you aren’t used to doing this kind of stuff this isn’t really the time to start. Hire a planner who can help you take on those little pesky tasks.
I hope my tips help you remain your normal self while planning your big day…Stay Happy!